


The Dating Game

by mlraven



Category: Date or Die (Video Game), Doctor Who (2005), Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe, Androids, Cheery narration of death and violence, Crack, Multi, Reality TV, Satellite Five, Screenplay/Script Format, The Author Regrets Everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 01:45:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14438838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mlraven/pseuds/mlraven
Summary: Welcome to Satellite Five! It's time for another episode ofDate or Die!





	The Dating Game

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Karios](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karios/gifts).



> what have I done I am so sorry for inflicting this on you
> 
> I'm just going to crawl back to my hole and think about my actions.
> 
> ....happy Brave New Bork!

VOICEOVER:

Live from Satellite Five— streaming ‘round the clock on Channel 8VJ32— the hottest show since _Big Brother_ 3094 was set in a volcano on Mercury— iiiiiit’s _Date or Die_!

Please welcome your host— it’s JOY-C!

_Cut to JOY-C, copper android with glowing green eyes and tinny, simulated, alto voice, standing in a dramatically-lit studio._

JOY-C:

Welcome to _Date or Die_. It’s hour twelve of day six, and we’re down to four contestants. Still in the running for a spot on _Big Brother_ 4000 are Aiden, Haxra, Meiwe, and Becky.

We find the contestants where we left them last— hanging from a cliff.

_Cut to four humans clinging to a rockface, attempting to climb to the top. One is medium-skinned and willowy, one is dark-skinned and bald, one is pasty and curvy, and the last is busty and blonde._

JOY-C:

Oh look— it seems that Haxra and Meiwe are deepening their relationship, so far built on two-point-five coffee dates and six-point-three acts of coitus.

_Footage of previous interactions shown in box on right half the screen; left half of screen still occupied by live footage of two humans working together to scale a cliff._

JOY-C:

Dear me, it seems that Becky ignored Aiden’s helping hand— seems she hasn’t gotten over xir choice to spend last night with Meiwe— and she’s plummeted to her death! That certainly narrows down the field.

Join us next time to see who’s made the cut for _Big Brother_ 4000 and who’s gone through our giant shredder!

  
  
  


_Rose bolts upright, panting, scrabbling for the gun she wishes she’d had on Satellite Five. Her fingers close on its solid form, and she exhales slowly._

_Beside her, spikes of messy brown hair twitch as their owner makes a questioning noise from under the duvet._

_“Go back to sleep, love,” she says, setting the gun in reach on her nightstand. “It’s just a dream.” She lays back down and firmly directs her mind toward their more pleasant adventures._

...And if she sleeps with her hand on the butt of the gun, well, that’s between her and the time vortex.

**Author's Note:**

> It's up to you who the brown hair belongs to! There are several candidates... >:D


End file.
